Attention nice guys:
Not kissing a woman with whom you share mutual attraction is not “respectful” or “gentlemanly”.
That is a story you tell yourself, usually because you have a deep fear of rejection. You’re too scared to go for the kiss because you’re unsure of yourself. You’re not confident. You don’t go for what you want. You don’t feel good enough for her. Or, you just don’t understand women.
Put yourself in a woman’s shoes.
She’s out on a date with you. She’s very attracted to you. She’s giving you every signal she can to say “Hey buddy, I like you”. She may be touching you repeatedly, laughing too hard at your dumb jokes, bumping into you, sitting too close etc.
She’s hoping you understand her signs.
She’s making strong eye contact. She beings looking at your lips, then back to your eyes, then back to your lips. She’s hoping you kiss her.
But you don’t, because you’re a “nice guy”.
It’s getting late, time to end the date and say goodbye.
Her Uber arrives. Now’s the moment. She looks you in the eyes, hoping, anticipating. She pauses. She’s excited. Here we go.
Then you go in for the hug. Or kiss her on the cheek. Because you’re “being respectful”.
NO, NO, NO!!!!!
Dude, no!
This communicates to her some of the following:
- I don’t like you
- I’m not attracted to you
- I’m not confident
- I’m insecure
- I don’t think I’m worthy of you
- I’m SCARED of rejection
- I don’t understand women
In short:
YOU REJECTED HER!
At this point, her attraction will usually fall off a cliff. She’ll feel a mix of upset, hurt, rejection, anger, frustration and confusion.
Why?
Because you were being “respectful”.
Unless she is incredibly forgiving, very inexperienced or has no other options in her life, you’ll never get another date with her. You’re now in the friend zone because you acted like a FRIEND.
Listen up guys.
If it gets to the end of a date and you haven’t already, go for the kiss.
There’s two possible outcomes:
- She kisses you back—awesome! She’s likes you.
- She turns her cheek or backs away—awesome! She doesn’t like you (or she has some CRAZY rules about when it’s ok to kiss and she’ll be too much hard work). You now know not to waste more time, energy or money going out on a second date.
In either case, it’s a win-win.
Now, if there’s any morons reading:
Don’t ever force yourself upon a woman. Don’t grab her and stick your tongue down her throat. Don’t be entitled and think “She has to kiss me because we’re on a date”. That’s ridiculous. Pay attention for signs of attraction.
The better you can understand the signs women will give to show interest, the less likely you are to be rejected. If you’re unsure and go for the kiss, don’t ambush her. Do it slowly and obviously so she has ample time to back up or turn her head. And then learn from it.
If any guys are reading and are still unsure what I’m saying makes sense, great. Don’t believe me. Believe women.
Ask a few of your female friends (if you have any) if they’ve ever been out with a guy they were really into, and he didn’t go for the kiss. Ask them how they FELT. They will tell you exactly what I did: rejected, frustrated, hurt, upset, angry, confused. Ask them if they went on another date with the same guy. Most of them will say “No, after he didn’t kiss me, I lost attraction”.
How do you know when she wants to be kissed?
This is an easy one.
If you’re making eye contact and she begins shifting her gaze to your lips, then your eyes, then lips again, she wants to be kissed.
So, do it, idiot!